The 7 Secrets No One Tells You About Moving Overseas

So for those of you who haven't heard, I've previously mentioned how I am hoping to go to South Korea eventually (go read this post, if you haven't heard about it). But this will not be my first time experiencing life overseas because I have lived in Kenya, Africa before. One thing I've noticed is that there are many the little details about living life overseas that "expats" (expatriates) often forget to mention or don't always feel comfortable talking about.

Oftentimes, social media broadcasts the "highlight reel" of our lives, so it can make it difficult to discern between "real life" and "highlight." Many people who travel or live overseas show their "highlight reels" and for people at home, it looks like paradise. So today, I thought I'd shed some light on the more difficult side of this and share a few of the secrets that no one tells you about moving to a new country. 

1. It's scary

It's not scary in the typical sense because you are obviously making the choice to go despite your fear, but it is definitely overwhelming and nerve-wracking. If you think about it, anyone would be nervous about uprooting their entire life to move to a completely new place.

You wonder about what your life will look like once you're settled, you wonder how long it'll be before you get homesick, and you wonder if you're making the right call after all...

2. Immigration is a headache

After you make the decision, jumping through the hoops of mountains of paperwork, visas, and signatures is one of the most overwhelming parts of moving to a new country. There's a lot of standing in line (or "queuing" as my friends from the UK would say), a lot of waiting, and did I mention the paperwork?? However, at the end of the day, you have to be respectful and understanding of the fact that the country you are immigrating to has rules and standards––ones that you must now abide by––so standing in line and filling out forms is really the least you can do to show that you will be respectful during your time in-country. But after you get it all filled out, there's this huge weight that rolls off your back, and you feel as though you could face anything.

3. Culture-shock is real

Of course, once you finally get settled, the culture-shock begins to set in... No matter where you move to, there are always subtle (or not-so-subtle) differences between this new place and your old home.

Whether it is due to the language-barriers, local customs, or even food choices, you eventually remember that you are definitely not a local. Many expats find this exciting at first, but there does usually reach a point where you realize how different this new place is from home and it weirdly hurts your feelings a little bit. This is also usually the point that many people realize that this new country is not what they originally expected. (This isn't always a bad thing though. However, many travelers tend to glamorize and glorify different locations, but you get to see a very different side to a place when you live there for a while.)

You might even catch yourself unintentionally comparing your new home to your old one. While it is a normal and natural thing to do, you can't let it get you down. Many times, we tend to compare and connect "familiar" with "better," but that is dangerous thinking as an expat. You have to constantly remind yourself that just because things are "different" than what you are comfortable with does not mean that they are "bad." If you stay in this line of thinking for too long, you will become bitter and you will not be able to enjoy the beauty and joy that your new home has to offer.

4. You get lonely

Once the culture-shock really sets in, homesickness usually follows. Culture-shock can also make it really difficult to grow roots and make good friends when you are in a new place, so it's easy to feel isolated and lonely. However, it is vital for you to find a community in your new home.

Whether it is through your workplace, a volunteer position, a religious group, or an "Expats in ____" Facebook page, you need to find people with whom you have things in common and can spend time consistently. We humans are social creatures (introverted or not), and meeting with people regularly is vital to our mental and emotional health.

Besides that, it's important to stay in touch with family and friends back home. Thankfully, we live in a time where FaceTime, Skype, Zoom, and many other video-based calling is available, so it is not as difficult as it could be.

5. Time-zones suck

You find this part out very quickly if you end up moving to the other side of the globe. A 1-2 hour time-difference is nothing... Trying to maintain relationships with an 8-15 hour time difference working against you can be a challenge, to say the least. You just have to learn how to time out visits with people so that both parties are able to have time to communicate. Sometimes this may mean one or both parties sacrificing some precious sleep, but it is worth it in the long run if it means maintaining important relationships. 

(Utilizing the "World Clock" on your phone/computer can be an absolute lifesaver.)

6. You feel left-out sometimes

Because of the time-and-space difference, you're going to feel left out sometimes. You may not fully realize it until it begins to happen, but birthdays, graduations, holidays, and major milestones will still carry on without you. Honestly, this part can feel really hurtful if you let it affect you. Part of it is the not-being-there, but part of it is also just feeling lonely and feeling like everyone is enjoying something that you aren't.

The thing you have to remember is that these people usually do miss you and wish you were there, but they shouldn't simply not celebrate or move on with life because you aren't there. On the other hand, they all likely feel similarly about you––you're overseas experiencing so many incredible things that they may never have a chance to experience in their lifetimes. It's a trade-off, so this feeling of being "left behind" or "left out" works both ways.

7. It changes you (more than you realize)

When my time overseas came to an end, I came back completely different. My old friends even told me that I had totally changed during my time across the pond.

Living abroad forces you to become more independent and self-reliant. You are often forced to come out of your shell, do things you've never done, and meet new people, so your comfort-zone eventually grows a little wider. You get exposed to new languages, cultures, and ideas, so your perspective grows. And, believe it or not, that new place somehow becomes a part of you, rooting deep down, and you carry it with you forever. The memories you make, the friends that you meet, the food you tried, the adventures you had, and the feelings that you felt during your time abroad all form into this incredible thing called experience, and it never fully leaves you.

You may not recognize it at the time, but when/if you leave that new place, different songs, sounds, smells, and tastes will instantly teleport you back to specific moments during your time there, making you feel just ever-so-slightly homesick for that place...

In the end, the difficulties are still worth it all.

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World travelers + expats, sound off! How many of you have experienced these feelings during your travels? Did I miss any? What was your experience like?

To all of my non-traveling / homebody friends, would you ever consider moving overseas? If so, where would you go?